Day 0 - Goals

January 12, 2014

Today I was inspired.  By a picture floating around on the internet. 

And I realized that I would like to set a goal.  To be in the best shape of my entire life at age 40.  (August 1, 2015)  My return to fit journey has already begun with the Couch to 5k program that I started this fall and with the 30 days to a 5 minute plank program that I have been peer-pressured into by the girls this past month. Skeptical on the 5 minutes part, but optimistic.  

So in order to be assured that I am in better shape at age forty than at any other age thus far,  I thought back to all of the things that I was once able to do.  As a child.  As a swimmer.  As a teen.   As a gymnast.  And I’m going to one-up or at least match them all.  Well maybe not all.  I’m not going to relearn a handspring vault at this point in my life.  I’m just not. 

So let’s start.  At some point, I’m pretty sure that I could do 20 real push-ups .  That’s a guess, but it’s got to be about right.  I’m starting with this one because I don’t honestly think it will be too hard to do.  I’m also sure that as a teenager and a gymnast, I could do at least 5 pull ups.  Real ones.  With hands forward.  Not cheaty ones with the reverse grip.  This will be a significantly harder goal.  Today I allllmost did one from a dead hang.  Almost.

I remember that I always reached the presidential mark on the National Physical fitness tests.  Every year.  So although I have never considered myself an athlete, I was at least fit.  I looked up this data today and found that I must’ve been in the 85th percentile or above for all of the 5 tasks each year.   I’m not about to set up a shuttle run with chalkboard erasers, but I can time my mile and sit-ups and hang from a bar.  Man, I used to be really good at that dead hang.  Definitely over a minute.  I’m going to aim for 1 minute 30 seconds  of dead hang by age 40.  Don’t laugh when you see me at the kids' playground hanging with my chin above the bar.  Cheer me on. 

I was once a very flexible child.  I actually still am pretty flexible for a 38 ½ year old with two children.  I can still hit that presidential mark on the sit-n-reach.  This may be due in part to my freakishly long arms, but I’m counting it.  But  last year when I was helping out with the boy’s running club I realized that I can no longer straddle like I once could.  Flexibility can’t be too hard to regain, right?  Right split and left split by age forty.  Also a perfect bridge.  And let’s tack on the standing side split and the scorpion. (the dance scorpion, not the yoga scorpion.. because that shit is craaaazy.)  Bonus points if I can regain a center split as well. 

Along with gymnastics comes great core strength.  Even if you are a mediocre gymnast like I once was.  But at one point in my life (age 13-17 maybe...) I could do a press handstand.  In straddle position.  If you are not familiar with this sort of thing, just know that it’s all core.  And some balance.  Upside down balance. But mostly core.  This is where the five minute plank routine will come in handy.

Probably the most difficult part of this for me will be the running.  Here’s the thing about running:  it’s reaallly boring.  Like I start running, and after what feels like an eternity of running, I look down at my watch to see that 2 minutes and 37 seconds has passed.  And by “running”, what I really mean is jogging slowly.  And flailing a lot.  As my husband always says, picture Phoebe from Friends running.  All limbs, flailing, can’t run in a straight line to save her life.  That’s me.  I am not fast.  I have never been fast and I never plan to be fast.  I would only like to compare my “running” to my past self, not to all you fasties out there.  So I feel that it’s unreasonable to ask myself  to run for more than ½ hr or so at a time.  This year, I have at least come to not-hate running, but 30 minutes is still a type of boredom torture for me.  So as a goal, I would like to be able to run a 5k in 30 minutes.  My fastest time for a 5k is close to that, but I've never done it sub-30, so I would like to be able to accomplish that by 40.  Also, I remember once running a mile in 8 minutes (or slightly under).  Let’s be honest, I was probably 10 years old or so, (why are kids so much better at this kind of stuff??), but I hope to be able to do that again.   A 16 year old girl should be able to do a mile in 8:23 according to the presidential fitness program, so at least I hope to be as good as my 16 year old self. 

There are a few things that I really hope to accomplish by doing all of this.  I hope that perhaps some of the aches and pains that I have been feeling will subside.   (Is there a chance that planking is going to help my jaw?? No?  My back at least??)  I have been feeling really stiff, and tired, and old.  And it’s because although I consider myself a pretty active person, I think I could move around more.  Or at least differently.  I'm hoping that somehow my body will process this healthy attitude as a need for less migraines. Somehow.  Because I really need that to happen.   I hope that by doing this, I will be happier.  Not that I’m not happy.  Just that this sort of thing should make one happier, right?  I’m hoping that it will help me get through the horribly depressing winter months of upstate NY.  And perhaps, by the end of this I will have a bikini body again.  And a place to wear one.  ;)

I am starting this blog as a place to be held accountable.    I’m really good at saying that I want to run more or do pull ups, but when no one’s looking, I would rather be curled up on my couch with a blanket and a cup of coffee.  Some things that I post here may be slightly embarrassing or awkward for me.  But I know that I won't make these goals without sharing the progress.  So you are all my supporters.  Whether you want to be or not.  Check in on me.  Hold me responsible for what I am saying right now.  K?  Thanks.